After publishing the article on creating a First Period Kit, a couple of readers asked if menstrual cups are suitable for teens, and whether I would recommend them. My instinctive response was, “I don’t see why not”, but I started doing some research, and contacted leading manufacturers of menstrual cups, to find out what their young customers had to say.
If you believed the headlines about the social networking site Instagram and self-esteem, you’d snatch the smartphone from your daughter and never let her open the photo-sharing app ever again. “Most depressing social network”, “killing your self-esteem”, “Instagram Envy!”… were just a few of the articles I found when searching for information.
More than any other network, Instagram is criticised as a social media site that damages self-esteem. It is creating a generation of selfie-obsessed teen girls, whose only aim is to receive at least 100 likes on their uploaded photos. When their photos aren’t valued by their peers, the girls develop self-esteem issues, which damage them in other areas of their life.
It all sounds pretty scary, but what is the truth behind the headlines, and what can parents do to help their children to use Instagram to boost their confidence rather than dent it?
We are all told that there are things our children should know and the Internet is awash with articles on the dire consequences of poor grammar, with quiz after quiz to help you determine whether your grammar is good or bad. Here are three good reasons to teach kids grammar.
According to Planned Parenthood, teens who had good, honest conversations with their parents about sex are more likely to delay sexual activity, have fewer partners and use condoms or other contraceptives when they do have sex.
So how do you talk to your kids about sex and puberty, so that they are informed of the changes ahead, know how they can protect themselves, and how to react to the pressures from others? Without euphemisms or embarrassment.
Perfectionism – is it a positive trait or a negative one? The typical interview question about personal flaws is often answered with, “I’m a perfectionist”, which is a bit of a humble-brag really. It’s ok to be a perfectionist, up to a point, but what happens when the aim of being flawless goes too far, and begins to impact self-esteem and happiness? And what do we do, when we recognise these traits in our kids?
Emily already wrote about some of the ways that she helps her daughter accept and embrace mistakes; here are some other ways to help a perfectionist child.
Celebrate the Journey
Learning something new isn’t just about achieving goals, but having fun along the way. Don’t just comment on the achievements made, but also on the fun of learning something new. Learning a new language is a good example – you can have a lot of fun finding new words, or playing word games, rather than worrying about exam results.
Look Forward and Backwards
My daughter is learning to play the piano, and we sometimes video her. When we play the video back a month or two later, she can see how far she’s come, and how much her playing has improved. It is also encouraging to say, “You’ve improved so much. Just imagine how good you are going to be in another couple of months, and how pleased you will be with your progress”.
Perfectionists often limit themselves to activities in which they excel naturally. A friend told me of refusing to learn sudoku or horse-riding, giving the excuse that she didn’t need to, because she was sure to be good at these activities anyway. What she was really hiding was her fear of numbers, and of large animals. If your child does this, then gently coax her out of her comfort zone. Don’t go overboard with praise for the natural talents, but be very encouraging and supportive of the scary activities.
Measure Your Response
When your child comes home from school, happily waving their French exam results, then celebrate the achievement of getting a B, and don’t say, “That’s great. With a bit more work, you’ll get an A next time”. The take-away for your child is, “mum would have been even happier, if I’d got an A. I’ve disappointed her”. Ensure that your child knows that even if they have a disappointing result, that you love them unconditionally, and appreciate the effort that they’ve put in.
Take Their Disappointment Seriously
Don’t try to cajole them, or cheer them up, if they are disappointed with a result. “Oh, well, it doesn’t matter. You’ll do better next time”, won’t help a perfectionist get over their self-anger. Asking “I can see that you are disappointed. Would you like to talk about it?” might help them open up to you. Talk to them about where they think they went wrong, and whether it could have been avoided.
Don’t Model Perfectionist Behaviour
This is the most difficult part, if you have perfectionist tendencies! Try to moderate your comments re your own achievements, both in your personal life, and at work. Show pride and satisfaction in your work, and celebrate the small steps along the way. Try not to be negative when you talk about how things are going at work.
If you’ve heard the terms ‘Attainment 8’ and ‘Progress 8’, you might be wondering about the GCSE rating changes in English schools. We take a closer look at these changes and how they might affect kids and parents.
How have GCSEs Changed?
The changes to the English GCSE system are part of an ongoing reform, which will be completed in 2020 when pupils will take the English Baccalaureate (Ebacc). You can read about some of the already implemented changes here. The new exam courses were launched in 2015, with the first exams to be sat in 2017.
What are GCSE Ratings?
The GCSE ratings are designed to enable comparisons to be drawn between schools. The idea is to identify schools where pupils are doing well, and schools that are in difficulties and may need intervention. For parents, GCSE ratings, like Ofsted reports, are used to choose which school to send their child.
The consequences for schools with bad ratings can be drastic – not only that parents with high-achieving children will go elsewhere, but also an intervention by authorities, possibly placing the schools in ‘Special Measures’, and even the removal of the school leadership team.
It’s important to stress that these ratings are intended to measure schools, not individual pupils.
How are GCSE Ratings Calculated?
Until now school GCSE ratings compared the proportion of children who achieved a grade of C or higher in 5 GCSEs, including Maths and English. There were some criticisms of this system, such as that it encouraged schools to concentrate on the magic C – since so much hinged on children achieving a C in their exams, some schools spent a disproportionate amount of time and effort on children who were on the border between a C and a D. This could lead to less attention being given to children in line to get Bs, who with a little extra support may have been able to get higher grades, and to those children who were on course to get Es or lower.
So the idea behind the changes is good – to distribute the attention and support given to all children evenly, in order to improve progress across the board. The new system aims to help kids achieve results to their potential or above – but how do you measure a child’s potential?
The system the Department for Education (DfE) devised compares the results achieved at GCSE, called Attainment 8, to expected result based on Key Stage 2 SATs that children sit in primary school. This comparative measure is called Progress 8.
What is Attainment 8?
Attainment 8 is calculated by translating the GCSE grades into numbers. So an A* = 8, A = 7, B = 6… down to 1 point for a G. (Note that this will change with the GCSE reforms).
Then the subjects are divided into categories, called buckets, with Maths and English in one bucket being double-weighted. The second bucket holds the English Baccalaureate (Ebacc) subjects sciences, history, geography and languages. The third bucket holds the other Ebacc or approved subjects including vocational and arts subjects.
We take the three best grades from buckets 2 and 3, along with the double-weighted Maths and English results from bucket 1 to find the Attainment 8 score. This number divided by 10 gives the average grade.
Here’s an example of how that works
What is Progress 8?
The Attainment 8 score is then compared with the projected score from Key Stage 2 SATs to give the Progress 8 score. You can find out how this is worked out in this PDF document from Department of Education but according to DfE pupils and parents won’t know this score in advance.
The DfE floor standard is a Progress 8 of -0.5, which means a 1/2 GCSE score below the national average of pupils with the same expected score. The school’s Progress 8 Score is the mean average of the pupils’ Progress 8 Scores.
This all sounds good, right? Instead of comparing school grades, they measure improvement. There is however, a concern that while high-achieving schools will have no issues reaching targets, schools in areas of deprivation will suffer from being compared with all schools nationally rather than with similar schools. There is also some concern what this will mean for schools with a higher than average percentage of children with Special Needs.
What Do the GCSE Rating Changes Mean for Parents?
The DfE information includes this statement for schools.
Progress 8 will be calculated for individual pupils solely in order to calculate a school’s Progress 8 score, and there will be no need for schools to share individual Progress 8 scores with their pupils.
and this statement is important
The minimum grades each pupil requires to achieve a positive Progress 8 score (also known as their ‘estimated grade’) will not be known in advance. This is because each pupil’s results are compared to other pupils with the same prior attainment within the same cohort.
The DfE states in the same document that they may in future inform schools in advance of the required Progress 8 score needed for each child.
In reality, even if schools aren’t communicating the expectations and results to children and their parents, they are of course trying to find out where they stand, and to forecast Progress 8 scores for their school (even when being advised against it!). And there is some concern that all the data crunching will be for nothing, as the entire system is flawed.
We’ll get league tables of Progress 8 measures ranking schools; Governors and prospective parents across the land will be fretting about the school next door having a higher score – all based on the most convoluted algorithm founded on the data validity equivalent of thin air; a number that says nothing of substance about how much learning has taken place over the course of five years. Nothing.
Those of you with children at the SATs stage may have already experienced what happens when children are treated as little data sets. When I spoke to parents during the SATs exam period, many of them reported their kids being under extreme amounts of pressure, with some schools concentrating on SATs to the detriment of other subjects. Some parents resorted to taking their children out of school during the SATs, with one mother telling me that her child was distressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts.
Kids who have been tutored through the SATs, now have a high ‘potential’ which they then have to live up to in secondary school. The question is, is this beyond what they’d normally be able to achieve, and will the extra pressure have an effect on their mental health and happiness?
With kids caught in ever increasing pressure to improve, with parents and schools pushing them further than is perhaps healthy, where is the boundary between encouragement and hot-housing?
The problem I’m seeing is that in order to set a ‘baseline’ from which to identify the child’s progress, they are being put in a situation of stress and pressure during the SATs. This leads to more pressure during GCSEs. All this because schools need to be measured and quantified. As I noted at the beginning of this blog post, this is all to measure schools, not individual pupils.
These measurements are vitally important for schools and teachers, as their career and earnings are dependent on getting good results. It puts teachers in an incredibly difficult position, by treating them like used car salespersons with targets to be met.
Look at any parenting forum or Facebook group, and you’ll see posters advising each other to check the League Tables when choosing a school for their child. But kids aren’t data in a spreadsheet and this leaves out so much non-academic learning and emotional development. There’s no space in the spreadsheet for that.
A score in a table cannot however tell you anything about the pastoral care in the school, how the teachers communicate with pupils and parents, or how the school deals with bullying or abuse – just three examples that in my experience are much more important to how your child will grow and flourish in a school.