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As the nights start drawing in, and the end of the holidays near, we turn our attention to the worst part of the school holidays. Getting ready to go back to school. Does any of this sound familiar?
Who are these people who buy the school uniform for next year before they leave on their holidays, as all the helpful blogs advise?
Week 1 : I’ll bookmark some of the school clothes for next year then start packing
Week 2 – 4 : Holiday!
Week 5 – 6 : Hmm, should really take a trip into town to get the school clothes sorted.
Today : Feck! Schools go back next week, and some of the stuff I wanted is already sold out. Next year I am going to do all the school shopping at the beginning of the holiday.
Every year the same. You get sucked into paying extra for ‘non-iron’ shirts, only to find that they are only non-iron when you wash them carefully (not too much spin), dry for a bit in the tumble dryer (not to much though or they’ll dry out) then shake and straighten on a coat hanger, spending time to smooth out the cuffs and collars. You say, ‘That’ll do’, then give them a quick once over with the iron cause you worry your child will look grubby at school, and you’ll be marked down as a bad bad mother.
If anyone does find the holy grail of school clothes, please put us all out of our misery, and leave a comment below (or post on our Facebook Group).
Is there a word for when purgatory and hell combine? Then that’s shopping for school shoes the last weekend before school restarts, with all the other frantic and panicked parents.
You’ll find the PERFECT shoes in the first shop that you enter. Smart but not too smart, good quality, comfortable, not too grown-up. Your child will reject these out of hand, and demand to see everything else that the town offers. You’ll race around town, stopping only for emergency coffee and muffins, while your daughter exclaims ‘These are SO on point!’, and you shake your head at the height of the heel. After four hours, you’ll both be snappy and grumpy and will be worn down enough to return to the first shop, where she’ll buy the first pair of shoes that you looked at.
You’ll decide that this year, you’ll make more interesting and varied lunches. You’ll buy cute little Bento Boxes and stock up on avocado and hummus. This will last until the second week of term, or the day your child goes on strike and demands a ham saaaammmwhich like last year. No mayo. No salad.
If you have a teenage girl, you’ll spend hours researching healthy vegetarian options, only for her to dismiss your efforts cause she’s found something much cooler on Instagram.
The chances of your child going to school TOTALLY prepared is low. They’ll rub their sleepy eyes at 9 pm the night before school starts, and mutter something vague, then in the morning it will be a matter of life and death. They can’t possibly go to school without this item, and it will require a last minute dash to the supermarket, with grumpy children in tow.
Listen. Do you hear that? The total absence of noise? And look! The house will be just as tidy at 3 pm as it was when they left for school in the morning. No worries about childcare or what to do with the kids while you are at work. Just you, and a hot beverage of your choice. Maybe even a celebratory cake. You deserve it!