No, you aren’t imagining it. It really is harder to make friends when you get older. When I look back at my teens and twenties, there was always someone to go out with, friends to meet for lunch. Even later, after the birth of my kids, I had plenty of friends. When my kids were babies and toddlers, I would sit outside the house with my neighbours, drinking tea and chatting while the children played in the communal courtyard. At some point though, after the third house move, it got more difficult. And I’m not alone in this.
Have you ever wished that someone had given you really good advice when you were younger? Perhaps you were lucky and had a trendy auntie or the friend of your mum, who sat down and shared some of their wisdom… because we all knew that our parents were so NOT cool, and not to be listened to. (Note to self – make sure there is someone who fits this bill in your daughter’s life in the coming years!)
If I could go back in time and give myself some advice (without totally FREAKING myself out), this is what I’d tell me.
A guest post by Coach Rebecca Pintre, from Artemis Mindset Coaching, on recognising the signs of low self esteem in a child, and what parents can do about it.
Self-esteem is the sense of worth a person has about themselves, the value they put on themselves. It is important to have a good balance of self-esteem and a positive yet realistic sense of self-worth. As a coach, low self-esteem is one of the issues I come across frequently. As a mother of two young girls I know that fostering good self-esteem in my daughters is one of my key tasks.
A lack of self-esteem prevents us from setting high aims, stops us from performing at our best, and hinders our achievement of our goals. It can affect every aspect of our lives, from our career, relationships, and influence our physical and mental health well-being.
Here are five red flags to look out for in your children, and some tips to try and help them raise their self-esteem.
When I say that I am the founder of a gender-neutral magazine for kids, and mention my objection to the ‘pinkification’of girls, there are generally two responses.
‘Oh, cool. I hate this obsession with pink for girls’.
‘What’s wrong with pink? My daughter likes princesses. Why should you tell me that it is wrong for my daughter to love pink?’
To clear up this misunderstanding, I would like to state publically –I don’t hate pink. I don’t think there is anything wrong with girls liking pink, or wanting to be a princess. When my daughter was younger, she was often clad in pink, from top to toe. She even had [gasp] a Disney Princess bedroom.
I know that some people sneer at them, but I do love a good inspirational quote. You know the ‘memes’ that are shared on social media, a photo with text superimposed on it. But some memes make me grit my teeth and click [hide] on Facebook. And not just the ones that ask me to click [like] to help save children with cancer (who believes this crap anyway?!). No, I have a real problem with self-confidence memes.
The move from the slightly cosseted existence of primary school to the adventures of secondary (or high school) can be difficult for children to navigate, even with the transition programmes that many schools have in place. What can YOU do, to help the move go more smoothly, and best prepare your tween for secondary school?