Help! My Child is a Fussy Eater!

 

“If you don’t eat your meat, you won’t get any pudding”, might have worked for Pink Floyd, but if your child is a fussy eater, you’ll know [stubborn face] when you see it!

Signs of Low Self Esteem

A guest post by Coach Rebecca Pintre, from Artemis Mindset Coaching, on recognising the signs of low self esteem in a child, and what parents can do about it. 

 

Self-esteem is the sense of worth a person has about themselves, the value they put on themselves. It is important to have a good balance of self-esteem and a positive yet realistic sense of self-worth. As a coach, low self-esteem is one of the issues I come across frequently. As a mother of two young girls I know that fostering good self-esteem in my daughters is one of my key tasks.

A lack of self-esteem prevents us from setting high aims, stops us from performing at our best, and hinders our achievement of our goals. It can affect every aspect of our lives, from our career, relationships, and influence our physical and mental health well-being.
Here are five red flags to look out for in your children, and some tips to try and help them raise their self-esteem.

How to Help a Perfectionist Child

Perfectionism – is it a positive trait or a negative one? The typical interview question about personal flaws is often answered with, “I’m a perfectionist”, which is a bit of a humble-brag really. It’s ok to be a perfectionist, up to a point, but what happens when the aim of being flawless goes too far, and begins to impact self-esteem and happiness? And what do we do, when we recognise these traits in our kids?

Emily already wrote about some of the ways that she helps her daughter accept and embrace mistakes; here are some other ways to help a perfectionist child.

 

Celebrate the Journey

Learning something new isn’t just about achieving goals, but having fun along the way. Don’t just comment on the achievements made, but also on the fun of learning something new. Learning a new language is a good example – you can have a lot of fun finding new words, or playing word games, rather than worrying about exam results.

Look Forward and Backwards

My daughter is learning to play the piano, and we sometimes video her. When we play the video back a month or two later, she can see how far she’s come, and how much her playing has improved. It is also encouraging to say, “You’ve improved so much. Just imagine how good you are going to be in another couple of months, and how pleased you will be with your progress”.

Expand Horizons

Perfectionists often limit themselves to activities in which they excel naturally. A friend told me of refusing to learn sudoku or horse-riding, giving the excuse that she didn’t need to, because she was sure to be good at these activities anyway. What she was really hiding was her fear of numbers, and of large animals. If your child does this, then gently coax her out of her comfort zone. Don’t go overboard with praise for the natural talents, but be very encouraging and supportive of the scary activities.

Measure Your Response

When your child comes home from school, happily waving their French exam results, then celebrate the achievement of getting a B, and don’t say, “That’s great. With a bit more work, you’ll get an A next time”. The take-away for your child is, “mum would have been even happier, if I’d got an A. I’ve disappointed her”. Ensure that your child knows that even if they have a disappointing result, that you love them unconditionally, and appreciate the effort that they’ve put in.

Take Their Disappointment Seriously

Don’t try to cajole them, or cheer them up, if they are disappointed with a result. “Oh, well, it doesn’t matter. You’ll do better next time”, won’t help a perfectionist get over their self-anger. Asking “I can see that you are disappointed. Would you like to talk about it?” might help them open up to you. Talk to them about where they think they went wrong, and whether it could have been avoided.

Don’t Model Perfectionist Behaviour

This is the most difficult part, if you have perfectionist tendencies! Try to moderate your comments re your own achievements, both in your personal life, and at work. Show pride and satisfaction in your work, and celebrate the small steps along the way. Try not to be negative when you talk about how things are going at work.

 

 

YouTubeHerStory – Women Explorers

We are huge fans of YouTube, and the educational benefits for kids. Here’s a great way to spend an afternoon – take one of our #12women books, and search YouTube.

Obviously, you won’t find interviews with Gudrid Thorbjarnardóttir, because VikingTube didn’t exist, but there are fascinating stories out there, waiting to be discovered. We’ve compiled a child friendly playlist here.

Watch this inspiring interview with Mae Jamison, first female astronaut of colour

Simple Tastes 5 – Banana Pancakes

What is better than a plateful of pancakes, on a cold and windy day, to warm the kids up when they come home from school? Asha is back with another #SimpleTastes recipe, and this is one we can’t wait to try out.

I know this series was supposed to be about ideas for weekday dinners, but I couldn’t resist putting this one in. And, to be honest, if you try it, you will see why. So many pancake recipes – and I’m talking about American-style thick pancakes here, not your thin French crepes – seem to involve multiple processes like separating eggs, melting butter and carefully spooning mixture into ring moulds, and, quite frankly, who has time for that, let alone the ensuing washing up? This recipe is simplicity itself, involving little more than forking together a few ingredients in a jug.

Not Another Sandwich – 12 Fab and Fun Holiday Lunches

Here’s a question from our Facebook group recently,

I’m really looking forward to the schools breaking up for summer next week. I love the holidays, but always struggle with lunch ideas for the six of us. I generally try to keep the food budget down (so we have more to spend on holidays and trips)… Does anyone have any interesting suggestions please?

Did our group have suggestions? You’d better believe it. They had loads, and to preserve all the great ideas for posterity, we are posting them here!